


Panic.

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Flashbacks, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Past Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-13
Updated: 2016-04-13
Packaged: 2018-05-31 19:29:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6484648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dave has a flashback in public and John comes to the rescue (more or less)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Panic.

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [It's Not Weird (Except When It Is)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3236942) by [Makizushi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Makizushi/pseuds/Makizushi). 



> happy 4/13!! god i cant believe homestuck is over. ths comic has kept me alive and helped me through some tough times, and im so so glad to be here for this.
> 
> Warnings for kind of graphic-ish flashbacks in this one shot.
> 
> (BTW im not giving up on my other fic, an impetuous god, i had a lot of stuff going on, but after this weekend i should be able to pick back up again. thanks for your patience!)
> 
> Without further ado:

Dave feels it suddenly, so deeply rooted in his bones that he swears it is apart of him; wholly, completely. He goes stock-still as the bodies move around him and swarm, the heat like waves, pushing at him, crashing over his mind. Dave can hear them all talking, all at once, a track layered over itself again and again, spun out and mixed to not fit--nothing is fitting in his brain. He doesn't know why this is happening, but it is unbidden and unstoppable once it starts, he finds, as his vision begins to tunnel and a hot sickness burns over his face. Breathing steady does nothing but make the nausea in his stomach rear up, and as if he was suddenly plunged into water, Dave's body goes cold and afraid, seized and panicked; but he can't move, and he realizes with startling numbness and fear that he _doesn't know where he is_.

The thought comes suddenly, unprovoked. No, he thinks. It's not a thought, but a memory, a singed horrible blackened memory, grabbing at him desperately amidst the throes of the party happening all around him. He can feel something-- someone. A hand on his neck, pushing him down. _Be good be good be good, my sweet boy, my pretty boy, my special boy_. Sound roars around him and Dave feels himself being touched--

_A hand circles around his wrist, and his body responds without him even telling it to. His hands are yanked aside as Bro pushes him down, down, into his lap, where he belongs, where he's always belonged. Dave's eyes blur and everything grinds against his senses like sandpaper. Bro is telling him things as he's shoved against his crotch, but before Dave can force his dry mouth to open and DO anything, he's shoved off unceremoniously._

_Wait, Bro tells Dave. He wants to try something else first._

_A belt is undone; Dave's underwear is shoved into his mouth, so far back that he dares not swallow for fear of choking. He doesn't want to think about what's happening, what will happen, and what always does, even when he pleads and begs. Desperation and the primal need to ESCAPE runs through him and he attempts to struggle for a hot second before Bro whacks him against the back with his belt as a warning._

_He's whimpering and crying, but Bro only stoops to his level on the futon and rubs his gritty fingers down Dave's cheek, coos and grunts and tells him to cry harder, because it only makes it more fun for Bro to take him._

_Dave wishes for the tears to stop, so he can at least save his dignity, but when Bro's fingers dig harshly into his ass, he keens and squirms, just as afraid as he was the first time this happened, the second, the third, the fourth fifth sixseventheigth. His chest hurts and his entire soul feels like it's being torn from his body all at once. Pain, vibrant and red, stings up his back as the first real blow comes, and the second comes on his thighs, right above the back of his knees._

_Bro leans down right after and runs his cold dead-feeling fingers over Dave's skin, making soft comments to his little brother about how cute he looks when he's whoring himself out-- cute pet cute slut cute--_

Everything comes to a grinding halt and Dave is sobbing, tears pouring down his face as he rocks back and forth. He realizes, numbly, that he's somewhere else, he's not there, not there, and when he attempts to survey his surroundings, he finds that someone is speaking to him. 

"Dave!"

His eyes focus suddenly, his entire body feeling shocked and strung out, taught, burning with lingering touches and feelings and emotions. Dave shakes, his jaw slack as he stares and John, John, who looks at him with enough worry for him to drown in, John, who has stayed with him throughout everything, throughout this. 

They're in a room out of the way of the hectic party, the only sound being the thrumming of the music outside the hall. Dave feels sick suddenly, more disgusted with himself than he felt while remembering any of that-- he can't believe he had a freak-out in public. In front of John. Nevermind that John's seen him have flashbacks before, because none of those had ever been in _public_ around other people. Dave's face feels hot, and he swallows thickly, the phantom sensations still skittering across his skin.

He goes to apologize, feeling dumb and childish, but John puts his hand in front of Dave on the bed they're sitting on, not touching him, but letting him know that it's okay, and Dave crumbles. In a single second, he goes from scared and humiliated to _relieved_ , though still shakey and unsure. John opens his mouth, seemingly wanting to say something, but shuts his mouth and stays silent while Dave cries and lifts his knees up to tuck his chin in. 

Dave stays like that for a while, deflated, exhausted, and fuzzy, but after a while, he lifts up his head and moves one of his hands in a twitchy, fast way. His palm fits over John's, and John takes that as his signal that it's okay, that it'll be alright, and fits his arms around Dave's back, careful not to touch his neck in the process.

"I-"

John shushes Dave, a sad look pinching at his face; for the millionth time, he wishes he could have helped Dave sooner, gotten him out of _that_ apartment sooner, done SOMETHING. Dave shakes in his arms, folds like a collapsible lawn chair in his grip, and John whispers to him the things he knows his boyfriend needs to hear. He's safe, he's okay, he can call Karkat if he needs him, it'll be okay, he's here he's here he's here, and above all, Bro is dead and he can't hurt Dave anymore.

Dave sniffs and pulls back an immeasurable amount of time later; John, quietly squeezes his hand and whispers to him once more, hushed, quickly. Dave only nods and tries to breathe around his hitching breath. In. Out. "You're okay, I'm here with you." And Dave feels himself slide back into his body. He squeezes John's hand back.

"You okay?" 

Dave nods shakily and goes back for another hug. "Can we go home?"

"Of course."

"I'm sorry."

John rubs comforting circles on his boyfriend's back. "You're good, you have no reason to apologize. How about we go home, yeah? Sound nice?"

Dave nods again, not really sure he can say much more. He takes John's reassurance easily enough, too tired to fight it, and follows him out of the party, into their car, and back home, where Dave knows that a warm and safe bed is waiting for him.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading :) !


End file.
